Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
