I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
