Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
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