just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
