why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
