We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
