he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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