ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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