This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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