But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
