He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
