i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Mom said you looked used
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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