somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
