He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
