If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
