What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
