Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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