Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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