You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
