One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
