"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
