The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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