well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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