I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
