I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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