If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
