3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he fucked my hip out of place.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
