Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
