Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't turn off my feet"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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