He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
