My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize