your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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