she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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