You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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