This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
