I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
