as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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