im drinking this country out of the recession.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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