She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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