I smell stomach acid.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
