I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Welp...herpes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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