It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
