Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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