i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
