You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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