I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
