come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
