On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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