my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
