IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
