Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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