After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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