just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
