put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
