idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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