Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
