I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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