Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
