Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
