k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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