I just cut my nipple shaving
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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