Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
