Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
