My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
