Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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