so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize