Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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