I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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