So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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