I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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