Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
