Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
