One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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