tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
