theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize