READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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