And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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