The beer is more important than you right now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
