he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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