There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
