a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
