May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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