it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
