I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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