He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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